I'm Tired

I work in a very predominate mans business.  I'm tired of being looked at as the girl on the job, "oh great here comes a woman and a blond at that", "I heard you were a spitfire", I call one client and he answers "yes dear".  I think sometimes they are just trying to get along and I overlook alot.  But when I'm not taken seriously for my knowledge and my time in this business it just gets old.  When is enough, enough?  When do I loose it and throw my hands up and say prejudice!, Descrimination!!!, harrassment!!!  I am tired of it.  Some days I think I could just lay on the floor and throw a genuine fit or just totally beat the crap out of someone 3x my size.  The stress and pressure in this industry is bad enough but then adding on the fact that I have to overcome the woman thing somedays its just to much.  Sorry for venting tonight but that is what is heavy on my heart.

Tired of only thinking about and doing work too.  Time for something new just gotta find something that makes me happy, maybe a volunteer job something that makes a difference and means something then work won't seem so bad.

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In the last month work has been extremely stressful. Temperatures have been outrageous and I have attended 2 funerals 2 weeks in a row of greatly loved family members. What a year!!!!

Is it already 1/2 over?

It's almost 1/2 over!!!, this year has been full of great times and hard times.  I'm so ready for some normal.  , gone on 3 trips (WOW never traveled so much in a short time), lost our little sweet fur baby girl Lily, continue to try and grow our business and keep up with the industry.  All while keeping my sanity.  Oh wait I think I lost that along time ago.  The following are pics from this year so far!!

Yess we went to DC and He couldn't resist me...lol

They were talking budget...Mark said just say No!!!

Went to California to see Kaela and ate at Cafe 101 on the old hwy!!

Kaela and her Dad on the pier...alittle chilly

Oh and the even newer member of the family our granddog Jedi & Mark really hit it off!!!

Oh how I miss this girl, she was my little sunshine each day, I so miss her face.

Let's not forget that we also aquired 32 chickens and 2 horses this year!!!

Awww...Puerto Vallarta!!!!  I wanna go back.

Oh I I just had to add this last minute pic at the San Diego Wildlife Park...it was pouring rain and we looked so good in our plastic ponchos!!!!

It has been a busy and crazy year.  I love my family and my Lord and Savior who gets me through this wild life every day.

Osama, Royal Wedding, Weekends and Lily

Friday we could not stop hearing about the Royal Wedding, today we cannot stop hearing about the death of Osama.  Ok, he's gone and well he should be but do we need to relive 9/11 and hear what everyone thinks of it?  He's getting to much attention.  Lets hear about all the military who has served and worked hard for the last 10 years since 9/11 to find this guy and to fight terrorism.  I don't want to see Osama's face again. 

As for the Royal Wedding ok, leave them alone.  We don't need another media frenzy and we sure don't need the paparrazi chasing them to there death.

Change of subject:  I hate Monday thru Friday....why can't we just have weekends?  I need a day to run errands, a day to clean house, a day to do laundry, and 2 days to do sewing and scrapbooking.  So that leave 2 days to work.  I think weekends should be work days and weekdays should be off days!!!  Ok I'll stop whining for now anyway.

Lily.....she's been gone 10 days now and I miss her, she was a big part of my everyday life.  I planted 3 Lily plants by her grave last weekend and I plan to make a plaque and put pavers around it.  She was such a sweet, tough girl.  I have found as I bought lily plants that they are hardy and can take alot of conditions.  I think that describes Lily she adapted to her circumstances and survived 2 years longer than she was expected to.  I love you sweet girl

Dream Horses are old...lol

Ok the vet was here and the horse has arthritis and is about 18 instead of 12 like we were told.  But he says he still has alot of good years.  I guess by the time they are to tired I will be too.  I don't even care, they are mine.  Red (the one whose got the arthritis) is onry, he picks on my horse.  That is fitting Marks horse picking on mine and being mean.  After the vet left we fed them both but he always trys to get the other horses food first, then will go eat his own if he can't get it, he bit my horse 2 times before he went and ate his own...the big old bully.  Its like having small kids again only better I can leave them alone outside during the day. 

Dreams come True....but...

Ok for the last 42 years I have dreamed of having my own horse.  Then last year we bought 10 acres in the country and a year later we have 2 horses in the back.  I love them, we spent many hours searching Craigslist and talking to people we knew who were connected to the horse business.  We finally went an hour and a half away and found these 2 last Saturday.  I hope we haven't been scammed, we were told they were 10 or 12 and that they just needed to be fattened up.  Ok I can do that, I rode both of them and they seemed fine.  We have had them home for 4 days and we are wondering now if they are older than we were told and when we came home from work today one was laying down and wouldn't get up until I gave him a reason (food) then he got up and had trouble walking on his hind leg, it got better and now he has a slight limp but we are waiting on the vet to get here now. 

I still can't believe I have horses and I'm very happy but sad to, I love animals and I feel so sorry for him.  Although I want good horses I can ride, I also want to take good care of these horses, I don't think they were very well cared for, hopefully we can get them happy and they will be ridable soon. 

Dreams come true and they are great but, they are never quite like we dreamed them!!!  Thats ok....life never has been like I dream it....lol

Past and Present

I have read some of my old posts which is good because it reminds you of where you were and teaches you that somethings never change. In Feb 2010, I missed my girls and now in April of 2011 I still miss them, this will never change, although I am so proud of who they have become and I seriously would not want them to come back and live with me forever. Being a successful parent means raising them to be able to take on this world and life and not only survive but thrive and that is what they are doing. Although I will always be here for them if needed and I miss the old times together alot, I know there will be new ones too. I have so much to do now, horses, chickens, dogs, sewing and scrapbooking. Oh and of course work...ugh wish I could get rid of that last one some how. Maybe I should start playing the lottery. Its unbelievable to me that my 47 years has been so blessed ( and has gone by so quickly...I don't feel this old), my life started out blessed and had some very big bumps in the road at times and even some giant craters but it has made me strong. There are alot of things in life that makes us strong. Each of us has different experiences and different roads to travel and they each make us different. One is no less important or special than the other. We have down times and up times, times where we wish we could go to bed and never get up and times where we are so happy and having so much fun we wish it would never end. Times where we feel like we can conquer the world and times where we really don't want to do anything. But through it all we have each other and love. Not just the love and companionship of one person but of many each relationship being special and different and they are needed in our lives. I am so thankful for my husband of course he is the most important and we have been through sooooo much together. Not only on a personal level but as business partners. Then there is my family, from my grandparents, parents, step parents, sister, aunts and uncles and cousins and of course the many friends over the years I have great memories and have enjoyed and need each of you. God has blessed me so much. Remember to stop and look around you, try to be selfless, give and love others its what makes you feel good (ok thats alittle selfish) but, the love of others is what makes us feel whole. Just random thoughts today.